Mid-Week Missive: Be Sensitive

We are continuing our journey through the book – Community Rules: An Episcopal Manual by Ian Markham and Kathryn Glover, both administrators at Virginia Theological Seminary. There are 52 “Community Rules,” which fit nicely into a one-rule-a-week rhythm over the course of a year. So I am going to be working my way through this book in 2019, reading and writing  through the lens of our Life Together as part of the Christ the King Episcopal Church family, as well as part of the Diocese of the Central Gulf Coast. 

Rule # 5: Be Sensitive: We Are All Different. Markham and Glover’s reflection on this rule can be found in their book, which can be purchased here. 

How does this rule apply to our Life Together at Christ the King?  Let me start by saying that I like the spirit of this rule, but I don’t like the wording. If it were up to me, I would have worded it this (much more long-winded) way: “Assume the best in one another – and try to see others as God sees them. In doing so, we might find that as different as we may be from one another, we are all children of God, and as such, we are the same in God’s eyes.”  Seeing others as God sees them is impossible for us, because we simply do not have the capacity to offer love, mercy, and grace at the level that God does. But that doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t try.

At our Vestry meeting last evening, we examined a list called “12 Marks of Healthy Behavior” and collectively listed what we thought were our “top 3” and our “bottom 3” for Christ the King. One of the 12 Marks of Healthy Church Behavior is “Manages Conflict: Conflicted situations are managed with practices/processes that foster and reflect a theology of reconciliation.” This category was not in our bottom 3, but it was close. What that told us is that while we might have made some progress in this area, there is still work to do. Conflict is inevitable in church families, so the goal isn’t to eliminate conflict, but rather, when it arises, to deal with it in a healthy way.

One way to reduce the level of conflict is to “be sensitive” as Community Rule #5 says. Or as I re-worded it – “assume the best in one another - and try to see others as God sees them.” Seeing and treating one another as a fellow child of God, and trying to first assume that others are well-intentioned can go a long way towards healthy relationships. Communities that operate out of a hermeneutic of suspicion, where the intentions of others are not trusted, are communities that struggle the most with conflict.

Our class that meets after Noonday Prayer on Wednesdays is currently reading “Joy in Confession: Reclaiming Sacramental Reconciliation” by the Rev’d Dr. Hillary D. Raining. In this book, and through our discussions, we are exploring what reconciliation means and looks like, both between God and our neighbor. Much of what we are discovering is that reconciliation with God leads to reconciliation with our neighbor. By sacramentally being reminded how God sees us (as God’s beloved), we are empowered and liberated to being our attempt to see others as God sees them. It is a lifelong journey indeed! But it is a journey to which we are called through our baptisms, and one that we take together. During this season of Lent and beyond, let us continue our good, holy work towards being a church family that handles conflict in a healthy manner.

Pax,

Richard+