The Joy Divine: A Sermon for Tim Harbeson's Memorial Service

Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude…It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Tim Harbeson was, among many things, patient and kind. And he, among many things, beared, believed, hoped, and endured many things in his 57 years of life. And he did so with grace, humility, and a subtle sense of humor.

After we learned that his cancer diagnosis was terminal, Tim and I had a conversation that I will never forget – and it was right outside here under the covered driveway. In the midst of our conversation about his prognosis, I asked Tim if he was afraid to die. As most of you know, Tim was a soft-spoken, mild-mannered person. But when he responded to this question, he spoke with a confidence that was unmistakable. He smiled, looked me right in the eye, and said, “No. I think death with be a beautiful thing.” Spoken like a true artist, who could turn dead pieces of driftwood into beautiful things. And spoken like a true Christian – “death will be a beautiful thing.”

Tim had a depth to his faith that recognized the sacred beauty of passing from this life to the next, entering into God’s ever-present light, love, and glory. Perhaps he imagined the journey through the valley of the shadow of death that we read about in Psalm 23. Can’t you just see Tim and the good shepherd, Jesus, strolling together through a lush, green valley? I don’t think I ever saw Tim walk like he was in a hurry. He always seemed to be content with the pace he was keeping. That’s how I imagine him walking with Jesus as they journeyed together to meet his Father in heaven.

Tim took his time to die a good, holy, and peaceful death. He approached his journey towards death as a sacred one, to be hallowed and respected. But I don’t want to over-sentimentalize the last year of Tim’s life. He suffered terribly from the effects of his cancer, as well as from the effects of the treatment of his cancer. It was painful and difficult to endure for Tim, as well as for Buffy, and Lark. Nobody deserves to suffer the way Tim, Buffy, and Lark have suffered this past year. It is sad, and it can even make us angry. It just doesn’t seem fair or just when someone suffers in this way. All of that being said, I believe with all of my being that when Tim’s time came to transition to life everlasting, he was spiritually ready for the journey. And he was no longer suffering. And he believed that death is a beautiful thing.

Our reading from the Wisdom of Solomon says, “In the eyes of the foolish they seemed to have died, and their departure was thought to be a disaster, and their going from us to be a destruction; but they are at peace. For in the sight of others they were punished, their hope is full of immortality.” Some of us may not yet be at peace with the death of our beloved brother and friend Tim – his departure to us is still a disaster. And that is to be expected. But I truly believe that Tim is at peace.

You’ll notice the theme of love and joy running through the scripture lessons and hymns that Buffy chose for our service today. This emphasis on love and joy isn’t to sugar-coat the pangs of grief that death brings to us. By reading these lessons and singing these hymns, we aren’t putting our heads in the sand and pretending that we aren’t sad. Jesus himself wept at the grave of Lazarus. Grief is a healthy, faithful response to death.

But as Christians, our grief is grounded in and lovingly held by something and someone deeper, wider, and bigger than our own feelings or circumstances, or even our own lives here on earth. As we grieve, we do so standing on our belief that

“None of us liveth to himself,

And no man dieth to himself.

For if we live, we live unto the Lord;

And if we die, we die unto the Lord.

Whether we live, therefore, or die, we are the Lord’s.”

Indeed, as Tim so wisely and faithfully proclaimed, “I’m not afraid of death. I think it will be a beautiful thing.”

As I mentioned before, it never seemed to me like Tim was in a hurry. I always noticed this about Tim because I am just the opposite. I feel like I’m always in a hurry. I have a lot to learn from Tim in that regard. Among many things, Tim embodied the patient love that the Apostle Paul wrote about in his letter that we read from today. Tim was so patient that he waited until almost the last day of his life to give Buffy the best gift he had ever given her. He had been mostly unconscious in the last days of his life. But in the middle of the night, he emerged from unconsciousness and began to say to Buffy over and over, “I love you, I love you. I love you so much.”  He just kept on saying it – over and over. I love you. I love you. Those are the last words that Tim said to Buffy.

As we sang in our opening hymn today, “Thou our Father, Christ our brother: all who live in love are thine; teach us how to love each other, lift us to the joy divine.” Tim Harbeson lived in love, and he is God’s own child, in whom God is well pleased. God taught him how to love, and grounded in that love, Tim has now been lifted to the joy divine.